Growing up in Atlanta in an old southern family (well-ensconced in Atlanta long before the Civil War) in a neighborhood that was being largely infiltrated by northerners, I realized something about women. Southern women and women from other parts of the country (and other parts of the world, obviously, but that's another story) are different from one another. Quite possibly it's not the women themselves that are different, but they do seem to have been accorded different rights, and to accept that certain liberties were bestowed upon them by provenance. It's been especially clear to me since leaving the U.S. that southern women have certain prerogatives that other women don't seem to claim. I've tinkered here with a list although I'm probably leaving out other rights that I just can't put my finger on at the moment. Some of the prerogatives listed here may not be exclusive to southern women, but they certainly exercise them to a degree unknown in other parts of the world.
The tentative list of the prerogatives of a southern woman:
1. The southern woman has the prerogative of renaming people and referring to them by any name she so pleases. This is probably an odd prerogative, but one that I've witnessed too many times to ignore. It especially occurs when someone is not particularly welcome or well-liked, sort of an "I can't be bothered with remembering your name because you're not important" sort of thing. My grandmother and mother-in-law were both quite adept at this. My mother-in-law renamed each of her youngest son's successive girlfriends (and no doubt continues to do so). Of course, pretending not to notice that they've renamed the person is part of the game; otherwise, it would be considered rude. I remember a man named Kasim being introduced to my grandmother; she immediately decided she would refer to him as "Cosmo" and did so for the remainder of her life, even after she had decided she liked him after all.
2. The southern woman has the prerogative of inventing words. Actually all southerners have this prerogative as linguists have recognized this as one aspect that sets southern speech apart from other North American varieties of English. But southern women seem to have the majority of the fun here. I've rarely witnessed a man inventing a word, but southern women are continually coming up with words that they feel better fit a situation than any dictionary entry could. And then the southern men, like the good sheep that they are, use the words parceled out to them. One word that my mother always used was "bushka" which meant to her that is was cold outside. Or "flute" which, granted is already a word, but she re-purposed it as a mild oath instead of a word describing a musical instrument.
3. The southern woman has the prerogative of flirting unmercifully without recrimination. Actually this is expected of her in many situations. A southern woman who doesn't flirt is seen as cold and aloof and a poor hostess. Perhaps using words such as "darling," "sweetheart," and "honey" to perfect strangers seems strange to a northerner, but it's perfectly normal in the southern woman's world. Even ceaselessly telling men how handsome they are and batting her eyelashes at males is part of her average exchange. It's all innocently done, of course. Once a southern woman has an interest in a man, she immediately and ruthlessly ignores him.
4. The southern woman has the prerogative of speaking her mind on any subject without seeming rude or inappropriate. This, of course, assumes that she avoid the topic of money, which no southerner is allowed to discuss anyway. This prerogative seems to be spreading throughout the country due to media portrayals of opinionated southern women, but the real southern woman still does it best.
5. The southern woman has the prerogative of being eccentric. Actually, there's a fine line between being eccentric and being crazy in the South, and the older she is, the more eccentric (or crazy) she's allowed to be. There's no shame in the South surrounding craziness; it's kind of expected to a certain degree in every family. Faulkner wasn't just making up stuff; southern folks have more than their share of weirdness. As Julia Sugarbaker said on a "Designing Women" episode (and god help me, I can't believe I'm quoting from "Designing Women"), "In the South, we treasure our crazy people." And it's true; we do. So the southern woman has great leeway in her actions (whether she's really crazy, or just pretending to be).
6. The southern woman has the prerogative of ruling the dinner/supper table with an iron fist. There are certain behaviors that are simply not tolerated at table, and the southern woman has the right to invoke any and all rules of manners while people are seated around hers. Such as leaving the table for any reason without excusing yourself first. Not discussing business is another one that's usually upheld, as well as not beginning to eat until everyone is present. This one was probably true all over the country at one time, but only seems to be true today in the South.
7. The southern woman has the prerogative of inventing stories. The veracity of her story is not what is important; it is how she tells the story, and whether or not she is funny or entertaining, that is the deciding factor. You're expected to be a good storyteller in the South; a good story trumps the truth every time.
8. The southern woman has the prerogative of transversing boundaries of masculinity and femininity without contradiction. In other words, she can ride and shoot one morning, and then ladle drinks from the punch bowl that evening without any raised eyebrows. And even if this were a contradiction, it would be overruled by number nine:
9. The southern woman has the prerogative of contradicting herself. Actually this is classically assumed to be a woman's prerogative across the board, but I wanted to include it in my list because it's done so blatantly (and graciously) in the South.
10. The southern woman has the prerogative of reinventing herself. This seems to have gained popularity everywhere in recent years due to a spate of self-help authors who have redefined this as healthy behavior. But the southern woman has been doing it for eons without anyone regarding it as unusual. It's notably done every ten years as the southern woman readjusts her date of birth, but it's apparent in other areas as well, the most famous example probably coming in the form of Scarlett O'Hara herself.
This is my list as it stands at the moment. I may add to it as I think of things, or delete items, or rethink the entries. I may even completely contradict it next week. But after all, that's my prerogative.
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